Anybody want pigeons?

I have been putting shellac on the wood moldings in the main entrance these last few days. This is sooooo time consuming because there is a lot of wood AND it is taking at least 5 coats to get the desired effect. Did I mention that I need to sand between some coats to ensure a smooth surface? Just as soon as my memory stick floppy adaptor that I got on Ebay arrives, I will post some pictures. I will say this though, it is looking good...

Now, how about those pigeons?

Well, I may have got rid of them. I will say this, they are persistent little buggers. Every time I go out on the balcony and shoo them away, they come back. I throw away their nesting materials and the next day there is more. I stand below them and throw pebbles at the rafters. They fly out and strut around on the roof sending me telepathic messages like

"Nyah, nyah,nyah na nyah!" and "We're higher than you are.."

So, in order to spook them and make them realize that they aren't really safe, I went up into the attic on that side of the house and crept over to a point that was 10 feet from them and above and in my most manly voice went

"Warrrrrgggggghhhhhh!"

I didn't see them for the rest of the day... but that was yesterday....I'm sure they will be back.

Which reminds me of an old joke.

One day a fairy appeared before a statue of a naked man in the local park, waved her wand and the statue came alive. She said, "You have one hour before I have to turn you back into a statue to do anything you like."The statue smiled and pointed at a female statue across the park. The fairy said "Fair enough" and made that statue come to life too.
The two statues hastily ran off into the bushes. After 30 minutes the fairy got curious as to what these two statues were doing so she approached the bushes where she heard much laughter and giggling. Determined to know exactly what they were up to she stuck her ear up to the bushes where she heard....

"OK, this time you hold the pigeon down while I sh*t on it's head!"

Da, dum, dum - ching!