Todays mistake

I made a mistake this morning. I asked Deborah to trim my hair. I mean, how hard could it be? I handed her the clippers and said "short back and sides please" the top is fine. Now I should have realized that this could be a bad move. I mean, she has NEVER cut hair before AND I have NEVER seen her carve a roast. Her attempts to slice a loaf of bread are pitiful to say the least and she always cuts herself when slicing vegetables.
As for my hair? Well, she butchered it. I knew it was a mistake when she took the attachment off the clippers and I could feel the warm buzzing blade running up my neck behind my right ear, then I heard the "Whoops!"
Being Thanksgiving Day it was most improbable that a barber would be open. I doubt one could have obscurred the damage. I had to resort to giving myself a winter buzz cut. I learned my lesson...
That's OK. In 4 months when I mention a haircut she will say "How do you want it cut?"
My reply will be "Well, I thought that I could get it short here, long here, a bald patch here and a piece sticking out over here. Oh, and a little bit of blood running down my neck will do nicely."
She will say "You can't do that!" and my comeback will be "Why not? That is how you cut it the last time!"

Having seen "Toy Story" for the 300th time and with my new found skills at remodelling I think I will change my name to "Buzz Leitzell, Space Arranger."