The Plight of ELVIS.

I have been informed that ELVIS (Extra Large Volume Iron Soaker aka "the worlds heaviest bathtub") was abducted from it's retirement home though it may have eloped with an iron sink that appears to have gone missing at the same time. It was not, I repeat NOT slumped over, in, on or even near a porcelein telephone. I'm sure there will be reports of sightings before too long in many major cities across the U.S. If you see a cast iron shower tub, circa 1955 in a donut shop please let me know .........