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This Old Crack House

From log house to farmhouse. Farmhouse to townhouse. Townhouse to apartment house. Apartment house to crack house. Crack house to our house. Our house to our home.

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Friday, October 26, 2007

"The Effects of Living in a Crack House"

Someone in Tennessee Googled "What are the effects of living in a crack house" today and came upon this blog. They didn't hang around long so it must not have provided the information that they were searching for. It got me thinking though, what have the effects been of working on this place?

Well, besides the obvious loss of memory, hearing and eyesight, the constant twitching of the upper right eyelid and the slurred speech. Let me think. Ah yes, thinning and greying of hair, a burning desire to finish the place so that I can relax some day, constantly being alerted to the background and stage props in movies. Then there is the persistent search for hardware and light fixtures on EBay. The constant craving to experiment with construction supplies like Portland cement and sawdust. Oh, and the reading of books that contain antiquated words like laudanum.

Of course there is the addiction to denatured alcohol and masons lime as well as shellac becoming my drug of choice. I constantly smell like boiled linseed oil to mask the odor of raw sewage or PVC cement. Then there are the dry hands from pushing blobs of lime mortar into cracks that my tuck pointing tool can't master. Cuts, bruises, smashed finger nails, black gooey boogers when I blow my nose. I have all the tell tale signs of being a renovation junkie! I'll have to enter a ten step program and memorize the serenity prayer. Now that I have come to this self realization, I think I need a beer.

Then someone in Alabama Googled "Crack House Rules", you don't want to get me started on those!

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