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This Old Crack House

From log house to farmhouse. Farmhouse to townhouse. Townhouse to apartment house. Apartment house to crack house. Crack house to our house. Our house to our home.

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Sunday, January 07, 2007

The "New" Scent For Renovators!

Hey Dudes and Dudettes! Do you want to attract members of the opposite sex? Do you want to attract someone worth their weight in refinished wood? Would you like a scent that tells someone what YOU are all about? I have found it! The one thing that tells everybody that you are serious about your home renovation. Put a small amount of this on and you will turn heads at Lowes or Home Depot. Put a drop or two on your clothes and you can stink up a room for a week. It's the tell all musk for men or "perfume de maison" for women, the ultimate renovation scent for the androgynous. It just needs a catchy name for marketing something like "Flax for Men" or "Raw Linen" for women. I can make it for about $7.00 a gallon. With a little alcohol and some ambergis I could jack up the price to equal that of some designer scent! Wanna try some? Just mix a little boiled linseed oil with some paint thinner for the Eau de Toilet version. Skip the paint thinner for the perfume version. Just add garlic and you could have a bus seat all to yourself! Nothing says renovation junkie like the scent of linseed oil.

At the house you can see that I am getting those doors shellaked. After mixing up a batch of "Flax for Men" of course and brushing it over the doors and then managing to get it all over my hands when I flipped the doors over and all over my sweatshirt when I wiped my hands off!


5 Comments:

At 1/07/2007 10:31 AM, Blogger Chris said...

On the plus side, those doors are looking pretty tasty.

You should put sample strips in TOH. I think you're on to something with this "Flax For Men".

 
At 1/07/2007 11:44 AM, Anonymous Patricia W. said...

I think I got ripped off. The Boiled Linseed Oil they sold me had been de-scented!

My late ex husband used to drive a truck. Every once in a while he'd get diesel on himself. He'd call it eau de trucker. :)

 
At 1/07/2007 11:18 PM, Blogger Gary said...

I can't imagine anyone actually wanting to smell like boiled linseed oil so if you can find it unscented I think you should be grateful because you could wear the same work clothes all week and nobody would know from the smell at least!

Chris, we get TOH magazine and laugh at the articles because all the stories involve hiring an architect or a designer, then people boast about how they saved money by painting a wall themself or how great the latest gizmo is for cooking for a party of 12 people when only two live in the house! They wouldn't know what shellac was. I would have to describe what I am doing like this; "After extracting the offensive paint from the wood with my super variable velocity air heater I then applied a series of thin coats of a fast drying natural resin imported from asia and Pakistan to the wood. This special resin is formulated to give the wood an antique appearance and enhance the natural beauty of the wood giving it the appearance of something expensive to reproduce."

 
At 1/09/2007 12:02 PM, Blogger Kevin said...

Gary, what do you use to fill holes, gouges, et al, since you refinish? Thanks!

 
At 1/11/2007 11:18 PM, Anonymous Peppe le Pete said...

Ooh la la! You smell so...mysterious. Is that a paint brush in your pocket?

Shouldn't there be a touch of shellac?

 

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