A Pre-emptive Strike

I know that I'm not immune to the pox infested blanket as it gets passed from one house-blog to another but I feel quite honored to have been missed in the tag game that has been going around (I assume I was missed because I didn't see my blog tagged but then again, I can't read every blog either). In order to prevent the spread of unwanted scabs I have decided to act first. Vaccinate myself, so to speak. Then I will not have to feel guilty about spreading the love. All those people out there looking for victims can be mad at themselves for missing me and I help stop the thing in it's tracks! Since this is an inoculation of a less deadly strain I won't tell you five things, I'll tell you six, then you can all leave me alone the next time it passes through.

1) Speaking of blankets and scabs, I have NEVER had an STD. I probably deserved a few in my time but never had one.

2) I spent 12 years living in England where I got a free education and a free degree in geology which I never used.

3) The result of #2 was a warped sense of humor and a quick wit. I pay for both daily because my 3 year old has developed the same.

4) I have low expectations when dealing with the ability of others. That way I am easily impressed and rarely disappointed.

5) I didn't know a thing about fixing houses in 2001 when we bought this place. If I did we could have saved ourselves a whole lot of money by not buying it!

6) My mother and ex-wife read this blog..... now that is scary.


This is a special service announcement for Chris Emery. If you haven't heard, I am taunting him. So in case you have stopped listening, this one's for you!

I can't resist the Taunt!

If you are reading this then you MUST click over to the "Emery Restoration" and read Chris's Hypocrit post. While you are there please, please, please copy and paste the chorus of the song below in the comments to show your support for his new found shopping paradise! Tell him Gary sent you!


Young man, there's no need to feel down.
I said, young man, pick yourself off the ground.
I said, young man, 'cause you're in a new town
There's no need to be unhappy.

Young man, there's a place you can go.
I said, young man, when you're short on your dough.
You can stay there, and I'm sure you will find
Many ways to have a good time.

It's fun to shop at I-K-E-A
It's fun to shop at I-K-E-A

They have everything for you men to enjoy,
You can hang out with all the boys ...

It's fun to shop at I-K-E-A
It's fun to shop at I-K-E-A

You can get yourself cleaned, you can have a good meal,
You can do whatever you feel ...

Young man, are you listening to me?
I said, young man, what do you want to be?
I said, young man, you can make real your dreams.
But you got to know this one thing!

No man does it all by himself.
I said, young man, put your pride on the shelf,
And just go there, to I-K-E-A
I'm sure they can help you today.

It's fun to shop at I-K-E-A
It's fun to shop at I-K-E-A

They have everything for you men to enjoy,
You can hang out with all the boys ...

It's fun to shop at I-K-E-A
It's fun to shop at I-K-E-A

You can get yourself cleaned, you can have a good meal,
You can do whatever you feel ...

Young man, I was once in your shoes.
I said, I was down and out with the blues.
I felt no man cared if I were alive.
I felt the whole world was so tight ...

That's when someone came up to me,
And said, young man, take a walk up the street.
There's a place there called I-K-E-A
They can start you back on your way.

It's fun to shop at I-K-E-A
It's fun to shop at I-K-E-A

They have everything for you men to enjoy,
You can hang out with all the boys ...

I-K-E-A ... you'll find it at I-K-E-A

Young man, young man, there's no need to feel down.
Young man, young man, get yourself off the ground.

I-K-E-A ... you'll find it at I-K-E-A

Young man, young man, there's no need to feel down.
Young man, young man, get yourself off the ground.

I-K-E-A ... you'll find it at I-K-E-A

Young man, young man, are you listening to me?
Young man, young man, what do you wanna be?

Farm House Sex and Other Great Stuff!

Deborah got me a new "Book of Everything" from Lee Valley. This coupled with my 1909 book of Household Discoveries will make me an "Expert" on old forgotten technology! We all know that an "Ex" is something that has been used up or worn out and a "Spurt" is a drip under pressure....

I can't find a recipe for "Farmhouse Sex" in either book but for some reason Google sends people searching for the ingredients to my site. Here is a good one though;

To Freshen Marble

Mix a bullocks gall with 4 ounces of soap lees and 2 ounces of turpentine, add pipe clay and make it into a paste. Apply it to the marble, and let it remain 24 hours: rub it off, and if not clean, repeat it till it is.

This leaves me with some questions and comments;
After 5 attempts, should I repeat? Should I actually use this, I can see someone saying "You've got a lot of gall using that stuff on your beautiful marble fireplace!"

I guess you shouldn't try this when daylight savings time begins, eh?

A Nagging Question

"Gary, what do you use to fill holes, gouges, et al, since you refinish? Thanks! "

I use wood putty where I think it is needed. I use Bondo for large holes. For these doors I used wood putty from the container. After a couple of coats of amber shellac I painted over the light areas with a brown acrylic paint that was slightly darker than the wood was turning. Any paint that remained in dents got the paint treatment too. Basically I am trying to mask the light spots so that they don't draw the eye to them. I then applied another couple of coats of shellac and now the filled areas aren't that noticable.

Here are the finished doors;






Here is a close up of where the door knob hole was filled with Bondo. The hole was from a rim lock door knob and is above and right of the key hole which I am using for a thumb latch lock (which is what was used on this door in our house);



Here it is without the flash going off and how it looks in real light. The oxidation from the position of the rim lock looks worse than my repair. When the thumb latch lock is installed your eyes won't even notice the discoleration because the lock will draw the attention since it is unusual.



This is a close up of the two panel door to show how the finish is with a few dings and scrapes after shellac has been applied.



When you own a house that is this old you have to accept that the woodwork can never be perfect and will look some what distressed. My skill with a paint brush is the result of hobby related painting and so I am quite good at creating the illusion of a door that is in better condition than it really is! These doors are upstairs on the rustic side of the house and won't be seen by many people. Besides, I only know one person who will inspect doors and molding and notice the flaws on a room and that is me. I already know where the flaws are and I'm not talking!

Use it Once. Wear it Twice!

That's my slogan for "Flax For Men". I washed last weeks work clothes and put some of them on again this week. You wouldn't know it by the smell. The dirt is gone but the smell still lingers. (Hey, that's another slogan!) We put the eew in Pee. (There's another!)

How about this one

"Flax For Men" the cologne for the celibate.

Or The perfect gift for a bachelor life!

Anyway, it makes a decent furniture polish and has saved me a ton of money on tack cloths this week!

"Flax For Men" for that polished look......
"Flax For Men" for the dusty guy......

And what does Elizabeth have to say about "Flax For Men"? In her own words;

"Daddy, pee-eew. You stink."

Novice Plumber?

Are you a Novice Plumber? Could plumbing be in your future? Do you need some practice?

If you answered yes to any of these questions then I have the appropriate site for you to practice on!

Don't let plumbing be the bane of your existence. Practice early and practice often. Let your kids practice too and I'll bet they will be better than you in less than 30 minutes!

I was not paid to promote this site. My wife told me I needed to practice and this would be a good place to start!

More Wazzup in the Hood....

Hey, do you remember this post about the fancy italianate house in our neighborhood? Well the owners decided not to sell it. Instead they have opened a business there and have a web page. In fact, they are supposed to be doing some work on the landscaping this spring to make the place super appealing.

I am plugging this so they get a bunch of hits off this site which might prompt them to finish all the links on their site so you might get to see what the place looks like inside! When they have their page finished then maybe I'll add it to my list of Dayton links to the right of the main blog page and put it on my neighborhood web page.... hint, hint!

The "New" Scent For Renovators!

Hey Dudes and Dudettes! Do you want to attract members of the opposite sex? Do you want to attract someone worth their weight in refinished wood? Would you like a scent that tells someone what YOU are all about? I have found it! The one thing that tells everybody that you are serious about your home renovation. Put a small amount of this on and you will turn heads at Lowes or Home Depot. Put a drop or two on your clothes and you can stink up a room for a week. It's the tell all musk for men or "perfume de maison" for women, the ultimate renovation scent for the androgynous. It just needs a catchy name for marketing something like "Flax for Men" or "Raw Linen" for women. I can make it for about $7.00 a gallon. With a little alcohol and some ambergis I could jack up the price to equal that of some designer scent! Wanna try some? Just mix a little boiled linseed oil with some paint thinner for the Eau de Toilet version. Skip the paint thinner for the perfume version. Just add garlic and you could have a bus seat all to yourself! Nothing says renovation junkie like the scent of linseed oil.

At the house you can see that I am getting those doors shellaked. After mixing up a batch of "Flax for Men" of course and brushing it over the doors and then managing to get it all over my hands when I flipped the doors over and all over my sweatshirt when I wiped my hands off!

Now I Am REALLY Confused

The north east wing of the house has always intrigued me. We affectionately call it the "Cottage". It wasn't always the two storey structure that it is today. We know that the right side of the building was built at the same time as the main house and was two storeys. The balcony is also an original feature. What has me confused is the left side. We have a description of it being the 4 walls of some pioneers brick home but this probably isn't accurate. The basement foundation is odd and the floor boards were very worn and of a different wood than the main house. The back door leading to the basement is very old and indicitive of the 1820s or 1830s cross pattern that was used at that time. I have speculated that this part of the house was Sam Edgar's bachelor home after his father "sold" him 40 acres of farmland plus another 80 acres a mile up the road on Christmas Eve in 1832 for $2000. I suspect the original house was a wood frame hut about 16' X 16' in dimension and the floor was about 18" lower than it is today. After the main house and adjoining room were built out of brick, I suspect they tore down the frame structure and built a brick one storey extension. The floor and foundation were raised to accomodate the extra dirt that was dug out when the foundation of the new house was excavated. I know it was one storey because you can see it when you look at the wall from outside.



The original paint was whitewash and has held to the brick very well. The upper part was added later and never got the whitewash treatment.

Here is the earliest image we have of the house.



In this image from 1874-1875 it appears that the upper level is present. If you extend the balconey floor back it hits the wall where the rooms separate and the chimney isn't visible in the picture and it would be if the second floor wasn't there otherwise the picture would depict the single storey extension. (This image is very accurate by the way. I was able to determine from it that the windows in the main house were extended downwards before actually stripping the paint off them and determining that that really was the case! The image also indicates two basement windows that are no longer visible from the outside but are very apparent from the basement itself.)

Then there is this brick we found on the main chimney dated November 1875.



I assumed that the house was painted red in 1875 or at least all the mortar lines were put on so that it appeared as unpainted brick. That was until this weekends stripping extravaganza!

I have stripped the two doors, the two windows, the baseboards and about two thirds of the floor in the smaller of the two rooms. I am working my way into the next room and removed some of the molding from around the door because I am going to run some electical wire for a 3-way switch behind the frame. Well, when you remove molding in this place it comes with a proportional chunk of wall plaster in it's wake.



Those red bricks with white mortar lines that you see are painted and the white area below is white wash. As you get closer to the floor the bricks are unfinished. If I remove more plaster I could easily reveal the original roof line but I don't think I want the extra work of plastering the wall. What would have been really cool is finding evidence that the door was originally a window. That would almost verify that this picture was of our house. At least now we know it was white at one time! There is never a dull moment here at the "Crack House."

This year I resolve to.......

Not smack my fingers with a hammer, not get aniline dye on my face, not get grouters finger, not suffer any plumbing woes, not get arrested while taking Elizabeth shopping, not electricute myself, not to buy any more sausage stuffers, get rid of the world's heaviest bath tub once and for all .... AND to ACTUALLY move into the place!