Beware the Nones of March!

We have all heard about the "Ides of March" due to that whacky bard William Shakespeare who wrote a play about Julius Caesar but you NEVER hear about the "Nones of March" so I'm here to inform you about both.

From Wikipedia

The Romans had special names for three specific days in each month. The system was originally based on phases of the Moon (Luna), and these days were probably declared when the lunar conditions were right. After the reforms of Numa Pompilius, they occurred on fixed days. The named days were:

Kalendae (Kalends) — first day of the month, from which the word "calendar" is derived. Interest on debt was due on Kalends.

Nones — depending on the month, could be the 5th or the 7th day; traditionally the day of the Half Moon.

Ides — depending on the month, could be the 13th or the 15th day; traditionally the day of the Full Moon. An auspicious day in the Roman calendar.

Months with Nones on the 5th and Ides on the 13th days: January, February, April, June, August, September, November, December.

Months with Nones on the 7th and Ides on the 15th days: March, May, July, October.
These rules are summarised in the following mnemonic:

In March, July, October, May
The IDES fall on the fifteenth day
The NONES the seventh; all besides
Have two days less for Nones and Ides.

Now, on a biblical level we have all heard about Sodom and Gomorrah. We are constantly reminded about Sodomy and what and who it involves BUT no one EVER mentions Gomorrahmy. If you look up the word Gomorrah in the dictionary it refers you to the word Sodom. It's like a dirty secret, going down like shellac in a conversation about floor finishes or pork chops at a Bar Mitzva! About 20 years ago a buddy of mine told me about Gomorrahmy. He wouldn't describe it in detail but indicated that it involved plastic sheets, a bottle of Wessons oil and a girl from West Virginia who was double jointed in six vital locations!