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This Old Crack House

From log house to farmhouse. Farmhouse to townhouse. Townhouse to apartment house. Apartment house to crack house. Crack house to our house. Our house to our home.

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Monday, February 16, 2009

Our 4th Break In.

We have experienced yet another break in. I don't understand why some people risk their lives to acquire nothing. This makes number four since we bought the place. The only time anything was actually stolen was when some idiot took my chainsaw and hid it by my old van so they could come and collect it later when mommy and daddy weren't going to be home to smell the gasoline fumes it emits because it leaks! I recovered the chainsaw so they achieved nothing and left me with two broken window panes.
This break in is totally weird. Someone made the effort to climb our fire escape at the back of the house. The first flight of steps has been removed to discourage such activity. Once at the top they busted out two pieces of plexi-glass that I use to stop raccoons from accessing the box gutter and getting on my roof so that they can climb down my chimney. Then they climbed out onto the box gutter and hopped up on the top of the fire escape and then on top of the roof where they managed to heave the cover of the access hole off. This would require some force. Once opened they would have found a ladder leading some 13 feet down to the floor. There is no evidence that they entered the building. All I can think is that someone who used to live here when the place was apartments my have been under the illusion that they would drop 6 feet into an attic and another 7 feet onto the third floor where they could rob the apartment. Well, if they come back they are in for a shock. The door hatch is secured better and the ladder has been removed.
I think they did this to celebrate Charles Darwin's 200th birthday since it happened last Thursday. It is a pity they didn't fall off my roof so that they could qualify for a Darwin award.


At 2/17/2009 1:35 AM, Blogger Christopher Busta-Peck said...

Are you sure you don't live in Baltimore?

Oh, wait, in Baltimore, you'd have all that, but the house would have cost three quarters of a million dollars.

At 2/17/2009 3:59 PM, Blogger Jennifer said...

Yuck! Good luck with that.

At 2/19/2009 12:06 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

"It is a pity they didn't fall off my roof so that they could qualify for a Darwin award."

Yeah, but then you'd probably be looking at a lawsuit! Sorry to hear of this...sounds like you need to set some 'Home Alone' style boobytraps. ;)

At 2/19/2009 12:15 PM, Blogger Gary said...

The way I see it, since the first flight of steps have been removed to stop people going up my fire escape they shouldn't be going up on my roof. If they fell off it would be a result of their own negligence. Now if I booby trap the place, I could be sued because of the intent to cause harm. I still think I need to strategically place some oxycontin bottles full of laxatives around the place.

At 2/20/2009 6:10 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm glad who ever it was didn't do any damage. Theft is bad, but vandalism is worse.

My house was pretty much a 2 unit flop-house for 20 years. I still get the occasional door-knocker asking "does so-and-so live here?" probably in search of scoring some drugs. It's not a good feeling.

At 3/01/2009 6:53 PM, Blogger Sandy said...

I read your post thinking how terrible and then I got to the last line... and just about fell off my chair laughing! Now THAT would have been a GREAT Darwin Award! ROTFLMAO!!!

At 3/19/2009 1:19 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

AMAZING people put themselves and others in danger over a few bucks.


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