Friday, September 29, 2006

Back in the Blogosphere!

I don't know if I should be boasting or complaining.

We went out and got a new computer after many days of phiddle phucking with the old one. That's right! We traded in the Model T for a 2004 equivalent of a Lamborgini. This thing has bells and whistles I won't even find for a few years! I don't have a clue just what it will do and we still have dial up service but I don't have to wait 10 minutes for blogger to upload anymore..... I wonder if it could fix up my house for me?

Man or Mouse? Squeak Up!!!

Like many of you, we have mice. These aren't normal mice. They are the result of many years of careful breeding and are multi-generational to the house. I met someone who knew a person who lived on our third floor when it was apartments. He said there were mice in the apartment. We still have mice on the third floor! I suspect they are the descendents of the original 1840s mice that lived in the attic. This lineage has witnessed the developement and patent process attributed to actually building a better mouse trap. The dumb ones have succumbed to a century of snap traps, glue traps and poison while the intelligent ones have procreated to the current residents that defy my attempts to snap-trap them. Every so often I find one of the ancestral dumb ones under linoleum, in an electrcal box, behind a wall access or once in a while I even get a modern dumb one in one of my traps. Last week I found what must be the great great great great great great great great grand parent or aunt or uncle to this brood between the 1st and 2nd floors in that unfinished room next to the laundry room. This one was smart enough to get to a level closer to the kitchen but may have succumbed to the poison traps of a previous resident or owner, who knows. So, in light of recent mouse posts and for those of you who have mice and wish you could scare the little buggers away. This one is for you!

Thursday, September 21, 2006


Hey, while checking my email at the library today I tried to link to "" and got this message! I only had a few minutes left of my 1 hour session so I decided not to invoke an override!

You cannot access the following Web address:
The site you have requested is blocked under the policies of the Dayton Metro Library because it offers sexually explicit images, which is prohibited under library policy.If you believe this site is blocked by mistake, you may override the block for ten minutes by entering your adult library card number. The computer system will check to see if you are 18 or older before allowing this bypass. Before proceeding, please make sure you have read and understand the
library's policy regarding acceptable use of the Internet in the library. It is a violation of this policy to display sexually explicit images on library computers. Violating this policy may lead to suspension or denial of Internet privileges.

Who posted the sexually explicit pictures? When? And where can I see them?
Enquiring minds want to know?

Monday, September 18, 2006

Off the Blog!

I am experiencing computer problems. My antiquated system is having a nervouse breakdown and won't initialize at start up. I am hoping it is the keyboard but the remedy may be that we have to get a newer and much faster system! In the meantime I won't be able to post or respond as readily as before. I pulled the old keyboard apart and it was manufactured in 1995!
Now where did I put that sledge hammer?

Thursday, September 14, 2006

The New with the Old.

A couple of years back I tore a garage down for a neighbor. It took two days and I did it all with a pry bar, a crow bar and a sledge hammer. I salvaged the window caps and later stripped them and painted them. They were mounted on a wall with masonary screws and liquid nails with the intention of using them as coat racks. I could never find hooks that I liked that weren't $15 a piece though. During our trip to IKEA we found some coat hooks that we liked. They were modern with an old look. They come in packs of two for $4 but if you buy the rack version you get 5 for $9.99 plus a nice piece of finished wood to mount them on from the Peoples Republic of China. I can use the wood for somewhere else in the house (like a bathroom towel rack) but we bought 2 of the sets and I actually attached the hooks last night. Now I have a place to hang a garbage bag!

What was Elizabeth's role in the Expeditionary Force? She was the chief ice cream sampler!
"Elizabeth, smile and say vanilla!"

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

The Gift That Keeps on Giving

Have you ever had one of those rashes that just won't go away? Hemorhroids maybe or even a recurring cold sore? That is how the plumbing is in this place. Way back in the days when I was really stupid, we paid a plumber to install the waste system and vents. The work failed to hold air and I fixed it. Then it failed inspection and I had to replace a third of the pipe so it would pass. Then there was the 10 inch center toilet we had to special order when we have 3 perfectly good 12 inch toilets laying around because "Placebo the Useless" couldn't measure 12 inches from the wall. Now I have this to deal with

The Stanley knive is there for scale but indicates that the top of the flange is a full inch off the floor. This is after laying in the half inch backer board! If we lay ceramic tile with a thick mortar base I can only go up a half inch at most so I am going to have to make a separate riser to place under the toilet to raise it off the floor and stop it from wobbling. Then I have to conceal the gap. This is why I no longer pay people to screw something up when I can screw it up perfectly well myself for free.

Can you say "incompetent moron" boys and girls? If this plumber didn't have hemorrhoids he would be a perfect asshole!

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

The IKEA Expedition of 2006!

The last time we ventured to Ikea was in Pittsburgh in 2003. I used to live near the store there back in 1992 but in those days I was married to the Antichrist and when you are married to the Antichrist you cannot buy items from Ikea. All items must be marked Ralph Lauren, Saks Fifth Ave or Tiffiny & Co. Now that the Antichrist is another man's problem and I have pursued my dream of owning a big old house with a yard and remarried a lessor demon we are open to the occasional expedition to Ikea.

There is a new store in Michigan near Detroit. This is a 3 1/2 hour drive from Dayton instead of a 4 1/2 hour drive to the Pittsburgh store. There is the added bonus of having a place to stay in Toledo, Ohio which is 45 minutes from the store.
A few weeks ago Deborah was in Toledo and ventured to Ikea. She spied a couple of items that she wanted to buy and twisted my arm into going up with her a week ago.
If you have never been to Ikea then you are either in for a surprise or a complete shock. Ikea manufactures very stylish modern looking European style furniture at a very affordable price. Most of it is made from particle board but some of it is beech, birch or pine. The bulk of the furniture is ideal for studio apartments, college dorms, small space living or people living in their first home. We tend to be attracted to the kitchen items and the lighting department. Ikea furniture is not really our thing, though there is a TV cabinet that we plan to buy and paint so that it fits in with our "Old Timey" look.
I remember my first Ikea experience in London in 1982. The paper Japanese lanterns are etched into my memory. Since then my Ikea purchases have been very limited to a few garden items and a welcome mat. After buying the "Crack house" we did buy some stainless steel racks and a countertop pot holder for our kitchen. We finally did some real damage this weekend though. Not bad but around $300 worth. Besides grabbing a bunch of stuff in the "As Is" department we got some more stainless stuff for the kitchen including a spice type rack and a wine rack.

We got a storage unit for Elizabeth's toys though nothing is big enough to house all her stuffed animals! The big scoop was this sink for $90.00. I will make a bench style base for it from some of the old 4 X 4 oak posts that I pulled out of the wall and some other scrap wood from the mound in the basement.

This will work great in the laundry room bathroom area where I am currently priming the walls. This faucet to go with it was a mere $29.00.

My original plan was to make a concrete trough-like sink and have wall mounted faucet hardware but this price was way too attractive and will save me a whole bunch of experimentation. We even went so far as to buy huge bags of perlite and vermiculite to make the concrete light weight. So the good news is that I don't have to worry about constructing a mold and getting all my measurements right for this project.

The bad news is there is a rumor going around that they plan to build an IKEA near Cincinnati next year....

Friday, September 08, 2006

My Final Plug for the Yard Sale!

This will be my final chance to promote the neighborhood yard sale here in Dayton, Ohio. We have 65 people signed up for it and one church sale that was scheduled way before we ever thought of a community yard sale event! So, if you ever needed an excuse to drive a couple of hours to Dayton, this is it. Who knows what you will find?

The truth is, we NEVER imagined that this event would be this big. We also anticipate a whole bunch of people who didn't contribute their fee to be on the map having yard or garage sales in the neighborhood making this event even bigger than advertised. Family Video, located at 1910 Wayne Ave is hosting our information booth where we will be handing out maps showing all the locations. They are having a sidewalk sale to show their solidarity. HERE is the map if you don't want to stop at the information booth and be tempted to buy DVDs or videos.

Plans are already being discussed for next years extravaganza. We are planning to invite 2 or 3 adjacent neighborhoods to participate in a two day event at the same time as ours so that there will be 150 - 200 locations within a 1 mile area. Now THAT is what I call a community yard sale!

Once I recover from my role in organizing this event I can tell you about the "Great IKEA Expedition of 2006" that took place earlier this week....