Monday, April 03, 2006

The Bane of My Existence!

I hate plumbing!
Plumbing makes me angry.
When I'm angry I drink beer.
When I drink beer, I fall asleep.
When I fall asleep, nothing gets done.
I hate plumbing.....

I spent Sunday afternoon lying on my side next to the toilet. No, it wasn't the beer! This years after winter plumbing problems happened to occur in the access panel behind the toilet. However, to fix the problem, I had to remove the baseboard molding and cut the toilet feed pipe.
It is amazing how clever on becomes when problems occur. After last years fiasco, I didn't nail the baseboard in place, I just caulked it in. So removal was quite simple. This time around I attached male and female cpvc fittings to the toilet feed that is hidden behind the baseboard. If this problem occurs again, I just unscrew the toilet fitting and pull it away with the baseboard instead of having to ever cut it again!

So, I fixed the pipes, then went and opened a bottle of beer, took a sip and went down to the basement to flip the water lever on the main supply line. I took a deep breath....
After the initial rush of water, there was silence....

I run upstairs, take a sip of beer, open the shut off valves behind the toilet. Rush of water sound, then silence. I take a sip of beer. Then another sip. I open the toilet valve and listen as the toilet tank fills with water... phew!

I take a sip of beer, turn on the water to the side showers. Now I am wet! More beer is needed. Then I turn on the water to the main shower head. There is water spewing from the handle..... PHUCK IT!

I pulled the shower escutcheon apart to access the cartridge assembly unit where the plastic cap had a hairline crack in it. You can't just replace this part can you? Oh, no! You have to replace the whole phuckin' cartridge..... PHUCK IT!
I thought for a moment about the fact that I can now flush the toilet and wash my hands at least. Then I finished my beer and went home!

Lowest cost to replace the cartridge (Delta part # RP32104)... $57.00....... PHUCK IT!

So, thinking like a plumber, I will try some pvc cement and a clamp on the cracked piece first.

Later I will show you what I was able to accomplish on Saturday while stewing over the plumbing problem..... it involved wood, a table saw, a plane, a palm sander and, you guessed it..... SHELLAC!


Ms. P in Jackson said...

I'm sorry you had to deal with this but your post was phunny.

John said...

Feeling your pain. Plumbing is the DIY homeowner's equivalent to prison sex.

It's almost enough to make you pine for the days when life was short, and plumbing & good hygiene were optional.

Anonymous said...

heh heh heh

I don't know what's funnier: your post or the comments!!

Greg said...

I agree. Plumbing Bad, very bad. I've never made it through a task without a major leak. Next time I'll try the beer technique.